留学群雅思写作真题批改实录

留学群专题频道雅思写作真题批改实录栏目,提供与雅思写作真题批改实录相关的所有资讯,希望我们所做的能让您感到满意!

6月25日雅思写作真题批改实录

 

  雅思写作除了词汇量要达到以外,还有很多提分点的哦。留学群为雅思栏目大家带来6月25日雅思写作真题批改实录,希望对大家备考雅思有所帮助!

  It is known to all that the technological and scientific advances have made greater changes to the range and quality of our food. Some people regard it as an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  例:

  Recent years have witnessed the(删) great changes in the range and quality of our food due to the(删) advancements(advances或者advancement) in technology and science. When it comes to the effects of these changes on people's life, some people regard it a huge step of human beings while others worry that these changes may have negative effects on people’s lives. It is true that both of the views have their reasons.

  评: 第一句,注意the的过多使用。

  第二句显得啰嗦,不如直接说:some people regard these changes as a huge step forward for the mankind while others worry that they may have negative effects on people’s lives.

  第三句,改为:in my opinion, both views have their own validity.(注意,在表达你的观点时,要表达出“这是我的观点”,而不是随随便便地用上你的原话中it is true…)

  On the one hand, it is undeniable that people's quality of life is (has)improved dramatically since the remarkable development in technology and science indeed helps in dealing with several well-known problems that we human beings are faced with. One of the most important one(problems)may be the(删 )food shortage. Unlike decades before, many countries have gotten rid of...